I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
