He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize