I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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