you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize