Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
