WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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