Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
