2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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