i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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