i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
