Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
