she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
