Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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