My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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