your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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