arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
