Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
