Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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