i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
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styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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