Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
