u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
