addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
