some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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