How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
