Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
