The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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