we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His nipple licking is glorious
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize