Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
