how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
