i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
