I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
