I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
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I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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