Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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