Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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