I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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