I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
