Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
