I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
