So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
