Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
