Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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