What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
