I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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