how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
