She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
