Redeem this text for a blowjob
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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