The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
