literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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