Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
