Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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