still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
