How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
