Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

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  (434): Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now. http://tfl.nu/1bza
  Replies (10) Good night (1009) Bad night (2457)
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  (381): View more from

  I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

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  (381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw
  Replies (15) Good night (1363) Bad night (3224)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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  (321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv
  Replies (19) Good night (1191) Bad night (4190)
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  (310): View more from California

  When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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  (310): When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth http://tfl.nu/ve5l
  Replies (17) Good night (4579) Bad night (963)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15359) Bad night (1458)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.

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  (203): tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer. http://tfl.nu/kiay
  Replies (10) Good night (5123) Bad night (945)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i cant cry in cvs. not again.

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  (803): i cant cry in cvs. not again. http://tfl.nu/7epn
  Replies (8) Good night (925) Bad night (3619)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods

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  (706): They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods http://tfl.nu/a68f
  Replies (13) Good night (6995) Bad night (1111)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room

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  (203): but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room http://tfl.nu/z6gy
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (3231)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

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  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (6943) Bad night (1263)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

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  (360): Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school http://tfl.nu/4t6a
  Replies (10) Good night (2303) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Things like this can't be explained over text man

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  (678): Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning? (404): Things like this can't be explained over text man http://tfl.nu/zzxh
  Replies (22) Good night (4409) Bad night (1148)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.

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  (408): Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware. http://tfl.nu/gy46
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

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  (585): If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang. http://tfl.nu/cb2r
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle

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  (616): so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy (313): Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle http://tfl.nu/8mxh
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (272)

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