Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

(1-313): View more from Michigan

None he's f-d

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(313): Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have (1-313): None he's f-d http://tfl.nu/3q7m

Replies (14) Good night (929) Bad night (1976)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I can tuck mytits in my pants

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(573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26

Replies (27) Good night (535) Bad night (2684)
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(440): View more from Ohio

It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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(440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh

Replies (9) Good night (2895) Bad night (795)
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(314): View more from Missouri

so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever

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(314): so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever http://tfl.nu/0876

Replies (18) Good night (3088) Bad night (627)
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(858): View more from California

So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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(858): So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/tlrk

Replies (13) Good night (5638) Bad night (1020)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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(859): Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up http://tfl.nu/e5lq

Replies (10) Good night (747) Bad night (1705)
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(+27): View more from South Africa

You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone

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(+27): You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone http://tfl.nu/np51

Replies (3) Good night (1905) Bad night (862)
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(917): View more from New York City

Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.

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(917): Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator. http://tfl.nu/612t

Replies (18) Good night (1515) Bad night (625)
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(785): View more from Kansas

im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.

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(785): im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit. http://tfl.nu/en3h

Replies (2) Good night (1434) Bad night (427)
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(303): View more from Colorado

The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

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(303): The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING.... http://tfl.nu/av21

Replies (7) Good night (1986) Bad night (507)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere

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(614): So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere http://tfl.nu/qzem

Replies (1) Good night (910) Bad night (398)
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(443): View more from Maryland

They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

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(443): They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing. (1-410): Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here http://tfl.nu/0wca

Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (434)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.

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(919): I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water. http://tfl.nu/3pkl

Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (399)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm trying to hide in the table.

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(973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531

Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (363)
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(850): View more from Florida

We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.

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(850): We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces. http://tfl.nu/3d6h

Replies (1) Good night (260) Bad night (101)

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