Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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  (517): i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook http://tfl.nu/5f2q
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (940)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

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  (303): Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/gotu
  Replies (58) Good night (3981) Bad night (1167)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

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  (267): No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay. http://tfl.nu/ge7h
  Replies (9) Good night (1129) Bad night (4284)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho

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  (310): Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho http://tfl.nu/chvf
  Replies (56) Good night (2272) Bad night (15145)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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  (617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq
  Replies (436) Good night (56526) Bad night (7016)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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  (+44): You are the patron saint of my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/rquk
  Replies (10) Good night (4353) Bad night (1157)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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  (507): Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07" http://tfl.nu/j0aw
  Replies (12) Good night (2717) Bad night (1212)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology

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  (339): So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology http://tfl.nu/2zvz
  Replies (6) Good night (4587) Bad night (1208)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

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  (719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq
  Replies (21) Good night (6878) Bad night (1460)
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  (315): View more from New York

  my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless

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  (315): my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless http://tfl.nu/2wfy
  Replies (8) Good night (3433) Bad night (1359)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.

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  (779): Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright. http://tfl.nu/yk6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1228) Bad night (854)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

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  (513): And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings. http://tfl.nu/38vk
  Replies (7) Good night (1353) Bad night (445)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know

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  (253): Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know http://tfl.nu/qmd3
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (507)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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  (404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (539)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.

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  (804): Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person. http://tfl.nu/iaef
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (299)

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