I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
