so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
