Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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