You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
