I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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