I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
PANTIES FOUND
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