On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
