I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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